We Are In Control Now

Hello... This is the Central Scruuuuuuuuuutinizer.

It is my responsibility to enforce all the laws that have been passed by our corporate overlords. It is also my responsibility to alert each and every one of you to the potential consequences of various ordinary everyday activities you might be performing which could eventually lead to *The Death Penalty* (or affect your parents' credit rating). Our criminal institutions are full of little creeps like you who do wrong things... and many of them were driven to these crimes by a horrible force called MUSIC! 

Our story begins with a young man named Jason. It seems that while most of his friends were attending CSO-sponsored youth social events, Jason was heavily involved with the unapproved cyber-social criminal organization commonly referred to as TEH DEMONOIDS.

That was Jason's first confrontation with The Law. Naturally, we were easy on him. One of our friendly counselors gave him a do-nut and told him to stick closer to church-oriented social activities.

The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only. If you gotta load or unload, go to the WHITE ZONE. You'll love it...

Oh, hi, it's me again: The Central Scruuuuuuuuuutinizer. Okay, so... It seems that Jason did not heed our friendly warnings and continued to utilize TEH DEMONOIDS for his own nefarious purposes. When questioned, he would only mumble unintelligibly about out-of-print 24-bit Blue Note releases.

Clearly the Communists had already gotten to him, and so for the good of society, we shut TEH DEMONOIDS down once and for all. We also tried to abduct his girlfriend Francesca, but she was not at her weekly social club meeting the night we went looking for her.  It turned out, she was sucking cock backstage at The Armory in order to get a pass to see some big rock group for free...

Jason says Francesca has messed his mind up, but, was it the girl or was it THE MUSIC? As you can see...girls, music, disease, heartbreak... they all go together... Jason found out the hard way, but his troubles were just beginning... His mind was so messed up... He could hardly do nothin'... He was in a quandary... Being devoured by the swirling cesspool of his own steaming desires... The guy was a wreck... So... What does he do? For once, he does something SMART... He tells his blog readers that without TEH DEMONOIDS, he can't finish his new 5 disc set The Best of Chillout (1967-69).

The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only... If yah gotta load, or if yah gotta unload, go to the WHITE ZONE. You'll love it... It's a way of life. That's right, you'll love it, it's a way of life, that's right, you'll love it, it's a way of life, you'll love it.

Hello there: This is the Central Scruuuuuuuuuutinizer... Jason was sent to a special prison where they keep all the other criminals from the music business... You know... The ones who get caught... It's a horrible place, painted all green on the inside, where musicians and former executives take turns snorting detergent and plooking each other with Telefunken U-47s.

Majors

The era of the major labels developing new artists is over.

The trend right now for folks under 30 or so is playlists. They want the music of their choice, in the order they choose, for as long as they want it to go. And since most people just don't have the time or the motivation to browse the internet for hours in order to track down what they want, a reasonably priced streaming service like Spotify or MOG is just what the doctor ordered.

It's streaming that will ultimately keep what's left of the "music industry" afloat; not lawsuits and other draconian tactics designed to reestablish a defunct paradigm. You have to roll with technology, not fight it. Just think what would have happened if there was a powerful horse-drawn carriage lobby in the 1890s!

But the more I think of it, the more I realize that there really is no reason for the majors to exist anymore, or at least as we know them now. Distribution? I can take one of my songs right now and upload it to YouTube, and anyone in the world can hear it near-instantaneously.

So that leaves marketing and promotion. The problem being, I don't see major labels promoting anything these days that doesn't have a shot at making the Top 40. If you're in a rock band, I would honestly question why you would ever sign with a major at this point. How are they going to help your career? By taking a huge percentage of your merch and tour receipts in a 360 deal that screws you eight ways from Sunday?

Wouldn't it be better to work with indy promoters and management, make your music available on the web via a streaming site, and focus on your music and building your fanbase? At least if you make it, you'll know that you got there on the strength of your sound, and not because you were forced upon a disinterested public via the hype machine. Instead you've built something that will last a lifetime-- a grassroots fanbase.

The majors are a modern day equivalent to The Emperor's New Clothes; yelling at anyone who will listen how they are entitled to keep the money machine rolling, while the general public simply laughs and points at them.

A Dennis Wilson moment

Through a Vast Crystal Sphere Presents: History of Chillout vols. 4 & 5 (1964-1966)

Compilation (various artist)

It’s been said that love is many things. In the simplest of terms it can be defined as a strong bond or attachment between individuals. But if we are all truly bonded at the subatomic level, then does it not stand to reason that love itself is universal?

And yet we are all, to some extent, victims of our own perception. It’s easy to get hung up and miss out on the bigger picture. This is especially true when dealing with matters of ego.

 

 
Evolutionary human biology is tricky business, but mating rituals have remained remarkably similar throughout the ages. Tribal members evaluate potential partners, consciously or not, primarily on the basis of physical appearance and virility. So while society has evolved greatly over the course of the last 250,000 years, biology has been very slow to catch up.

Or to adapt one of Alvin Toffler’s great analogies to serve my own point: If society is a sleek, $150,000 Audi R-8 blowing by you at 120 mph, biology is more like a broke down school bus, stuck in the exit lane with its blinker on.

Ask most sensible people what they look for in a mate, and you’ll tend to hear the same answers: compassion, wit, sensitivity, honesty, intellect, and so on. And yet while these are highly evolved social traits that demonstrate refinement, this is really all they are. Because while society continues to evolve at a lightning quick rate, we are inevitably still rooted in primordial mud.

The Evolutionary Totem Pole: There is an inescapable hierarchy for both male and female species based on physical appearance and virility. In simplest terms, it is an X-axis starting at 0 and extending to 10, with a near infinite number of plot points in between. And since none of us are either the most or least desirable members of our species, we all fall somewhere into the vast middle of the spectrum.

Scenario #1: After careful consideration, you have identified somebody whom in your estimation would make a fantastic potential long term partner. In your mind, you can visualize the two of you together, engaging in routine day to day activities. You plot out dinners and vacations. You fantasize about what it would be like to lay next to them, to feel their skin against yours or the warmth of their breath. Yet unfortunately for you, this person does not view you in the same light, and after an open exchange of emotions where the truth is laid bare, you retreat, feeling as though life is suddenly not worth living anymore if you cannot live it with them. Sadly, these emotions can take weeks, months or even years to recover from.

Scenario #2: A long-time acquaintance of yours approaches you and indicates in no uncertain terms that they have been harboring feelings for you for quite a while. While this person might exemplify many if not most of the character traits you may normally claim you’re looking for in a significant other (compassion, wit, intellect and so on), you simply are not attracted to them-- they don’t “do it for you”. What’s more, no amount of additional refinement, generous gestures or even outright bribery on their part could ever change the fact that you just are not interested in them that way! You try to let that person down gently, tell them that it’s not them, that there are plenty of others out there and so forth, but your words ring hollow. Now you are wracked with guilt, because at one time or another, the same thing happened to you.

This, in essence, is the human condition.

"Sometimes I go about in pity for myself. And all the while, a great wind carries me across the sky".

4 | 5

Well isn't this awkward!

Well isn't this embarrassing?

So where to begin... Okay, I got 4 days back in payment to Sendspace and they apparently deleted some stuff.

I mean what the fuck is up with that? I go two months without paying Sprint and they don't cancel my cellphone service, but you miss a few small days with Sendspace and they're all DELETE! DELETE!

Totally my bad! And I know I owe you guys a few somethings somethings:

VH-1s Top 100 Hip-Hop Songs
Obsession, Lust and Betrayal vol. 3
Mike Nesmith - Carlislye Wheeling
Davy Jones - Davy!
Fleetwood Mac - Then Play On (disc 1)

So I'm driving down to LA tomorrow to see The Association in concert, hit Sunset and cruise back up on Sunday. I will get the billing squared away and re-up all the lost content on Monday. And that's a Crystal Sphere promise.

You have to realize the life of a blog operator. I do what I can to keep this site updated. Most of the time I expect very little in the way of feedback-- this is okay. I put the stuff out there in the hopes that anyone would actually want to check it out.

But the curious part is that, due to lack of response, I don't think anyone's even checking it out-- until the stuff goes offline. Then I hear about it!

I guess what I'm saying is: if you enjoy what we're doing here, feel absolutelyfuckinfree to post a comment. Supportive, critical... it doesn't matter. I just need to know someone cares. Or else, as you can imagine, I'll find other things to do with my time and let this place slip into the cyber gutter.

Oh, I've got something real nice for you guys lined up. Something new and unbooted and very very groovy.. You might even say a little Byrd told me about it.

I'm happy to hook you guys up, but do me a favor and let me know. Are the Chillout CDs doing it for you? Is this the type of stuff you'd like to see here, or would you be happier with all classic rock, all the time?

Retardedly Yours,

JP