Friday, February 25, 2011

The Dog Ate My Homework or I'm Mad, Man: A Play in One Act

"Hello, Don! Nice to see you again! How's the wife and kids? Hey sit down! Let me pour you a cocktail? No really! I've got whisky, scotch, gin, some nice imported Russian vodka. Help yourself to anything... Not the Stoli."

"Look my time here is short, so get to the point. You said you had something for me. Now either give me something I can work with or I'm gone. I don't care if you work ten seconds if you bring me something I like. We're gonna do this right now."

"You don't know how to drink. Your whole generation, you drink for the wrong reasons. My generation, we drink because it's good, because it feels better than unbuttoning your collar, because we deserve it. We drink because it's what men do. Now listen, I know you're a little upset because I wasn't able to come through with those things you wanted when I said I would. And for that I'm apologizing. And you're not going to believe it, but that AMD quad-core processor I had driving my system went and died on me, and now I can't get at any of my music anymore. Yes, I realize it's a monumental failure. All these musical treasures I was going to share with you just... sitting there, useless as a swimming pool in February. Can you believe it? And now my sorry hump is left to devise some sort of a workaround to get this thing done. And then I went and let my Sendspace account deactivate, and..."

"You lost Sendspace?! I can't believe what I'm hearing! What about the Rock Box, Roger? What about Smile? What about all the existing inventory? How do you expect to keep this company afloat with no product? Things better be worked out by next week, and don't think you can spend Monday hiding behind corners and trying not to make eye contact. I will find you."

"Now hold on just one second, Cochise. Look, I want to tell you something because you're very dear to me, and I hope you understand it comes from the bottom of my damaged, damaged heart. The Crystal Sphere will be back. It'll be back and it'll be better than ever. You’ll come in Monday and everything will be the same – only there’ll be diamonds on the doorknobs!"

"I can't decide... if you have everything... or nothing."

**Seriously, we'll be back as soon as possible once the technological junk gets resolved. Also, be on the lookout for L.A. Gemstones: The Blog-- coming soon.